Promenade at Brentwood

Brentwood Promenade Summary

After coming here once, there's a dread that sets in when you know you have to go back to the Brentwood Promenade.

I'm not kidding. My wife sometimes flat-out refuses to go because she just doesn't want to deal with the headache.

But Trader Joe's is worth it.

So before you even get in the car, you have to start mentally planning. Visualize your entrance and your escape route. Know where you're parking. And learn the parking secrets

Why? Because the place is pure nightmare fuel, but it's a nightmare that holds some of the best stores in St. Louis hostage. Target, Cost Plus World Market, Trader Joe's, and Micro Center, all in one "fantastic strip mall."

The problem is the design. It's a giant square. This means the cars have to drive right where the pedestrians are crossing to get into the stores on both sides

People are trying to walk into Trader Joe's while you're trying to drive past them to World Market. And you're all just praying no one steps out without looking.

The result is that everyone has to go slower than they normally would. It feels like you're taking your life in your hands just to cross the street, whether you're a driver or a pedestrian.

And that's after you survive getting into the mall, which is a giant pain. The entrances off Highway 64 back up constantly. The traffic flow is one-directional, so getting in takes priority over getting out, causing gridlock when you're just trying to leave.

It's a hot mess.

But, if you can figure it out, the reward is there. The more you go, the more you learn the little tips and tricks. You find that back way by the Tesla charging station. You perfect the Hanley exit. And you come out with your sweet, sweet Trader Joe's haul.

It's the place to shop, and we're all just stuck navigating it.

Brentwood Promenade Things To Do

This place has a lineup of stores that is just hard to beat, which is why we all put up with the parking.

Trader Joe's: This is a main draw, and I don't think they realized how popular it would be. It's the closest one to downtown, so it's always a nightmare.

Target: The classic.

Micro Center: A huge destination for tech.

Cost Plus World Market: Great for unique finds.

Wine Stores

Five Below

Brentwood Promenade Details And Info

The core issue here is the design. It feels like it was built for a different time, maybe when it was the only strip mall around.

It's just... boxy.

Everything is at a hard 90-degree angle. The parking spaces themselves are too small, which makes getting in and out of your car a squeeze. And there are no angled curbs or spaces.

This means going from the main thoroughfare into a parking lane requires almost a full stop. You have to pay extra attention to make the turn without hitting a person or another car.

What this place desperately needs is some kind of new thoroughfare. They need a road between the two giant mega parking lots that would let traffic flow without having to compete with people walking into the stores.

Parking At Brentwood Promenade

I've already touched on it, but the parking deserves its own section. It is the defining feature of the Brentwood Promenade experience.

The entrances are the first hurdle. The main ones off of 64 back up terribly. Because the flow is one-directional, it creates a total backup when you're trying to leave.

There is a secret.

You can find a back entrance near the Micro Center and Five Below, by the Tesla charging station. This is a good trick, but it means taking a more circuitous route around, and that adds a couple of minutes to your drive.

Once you're in, the layout is the enemy. It's a war between cars and pedestrians, and nobody wins. You have to be hyper-vigilant.

My pro-tip for leaving? The best way to exit is usually by taking the north side of the parking lot, heading toward Hanley, and using that stoplight. It's the most reliable way to escape.

Brentwood Promenade Receipt

(No receipt for this trip, just the psychological scars from the parking lot.)